It's been a long time, too long since I've had a chat with my best friend.
I think it's impossible for man to live without God,
I think it's pointless for man to live without God.
But hey, I'm the biggest hypocrite alive.
I say over and over again to myself, snap out of it, I want to get back to
where our relationship was in the past, close, just Him and me.
Yet stupidly, very stupidly I never get around to it.
He's coming back again, but when I say to Him Lord Lord,
will He acknowledge me as His child?
There's so many things to do, everyday for starters I look at myself,
and I know why His heart aches. SIN. I'm filled with it.
And I look at the people around, how they live, how behind every happy face,
there never seems to be genuine happiness.
Well I believe genuine happiness arises in the midst of your hardest, most painful
trials where you know He put you through it, to be refined by His fire.
I want to be broken and humbled before Him.

I'm not ashamed to let my weaknesses be made known.
I'm scared of people, of how they will judge me.
I'm scared of failing, of not meeting expectations of others.
I'm scared of losing things, of regretting things.
And now I'm lifting everything into Your hands.
let me prove and be judged by You and Your Holy standards.
And find the faults in me, refine me, and make me a humbled servant
for You. You alone.

I thank You for the cross.
I thank You for You.
&i thank You for making me.

He knows my name. I belong to Him.
And to Him I surrender.
Giving my best for everything because
of what He did in the cross for me.
I love you Jesus deep down in my heart <3

I don't know what I'm feeling, it's a mix between desperation and hope. I really have lots of things I envision, yet at the pace I'm going I'm not gonna make it anywhere. How are you supposed to make it on youw own without Jesus? Living on your own strength and pretending the whole world is going okay when you know you desperately need to cling on to him, the only hope. And so I'm going to so that, gonna make use of my time wisely,buck up, and press on. Hoping that You'll break me so that I'll be totally reliant on you, and yet praying that you'll do it ever so gently. I trust in your providence(or do I not?) God show me please. I wanna say ILOVEYOU and really mean it in ite entirity.

I have learned there is little I can do
In my life that will make me truly happy.
I must depend on God to make
Me happy and to meet my needs.
When a need arises in my life,
I have to trust God to supply
According to His riches.
I have learned most of the time
I don't need half of what I think I do.
He has never let me down.
& His will is my will :)

Because I've decided to follow Jesus. And because i realised how urgent the message of the gospel is. How long I've chosen to neglect it. I don't know which direction this blog will take me to, guessing it'll be a spiritual diary for me to record what God reveals day by day :) Its gonna be awesome.

Salvation is wholly of God by grace on the basis of the redemption of Jesus Christ, the merit of His shed blood and not on the basis of ANY human merit or works. The unmerited favour of God grants to totally depraved sinners like me is not related to any of my own initiative of my own part, nor to God's anticipation of what I may do by my own will, but is solely of His sovereign grace and mercy.

Ephesians 1:4-7 (ESV)
4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses,according to the riches of his grace,

& today i thank God for my salvation, for the assurance of His providence every single day :)